Absent - not gone.

If you close your eyes, does the world around you disappear? Well, it does if you're like two years old; at around this age, children start learning that even if something is not in their sight, it still exists - sounds silly, right?

Ideally, we would all go through that phase of development efficiently and all relationships would go smoothly, regardless of whether the person is next to us or in a different room. However, things are not so simple. 

Have you ever felt a pang of angst when your lover is not with you? Like at the end of the day when they go back to their place? Or, in the case you live together, if they go away for a couple of days? 

It is basically the same mechanism. People need to develop this basic trust in every relationship to know that the presence or absence of the person does NOT mean they won't return (or stay).

I was talking to a friend about this, not very long ago, and she made me realize how stuck I was in this area (along with the fact that I'm way too dramatic, but I blame my culture and roots for that). Still, I have learnt that the love you feel for someone, be it a friend, a relative or a lover, remains whether the person is there or not. I mean, there is no reason why it wouldn't!

This can bring about many problems in relationships... People who can't survive unless they see their significant other every day... With the extreme example, of course, of stalkers... Which is where it gets creepy.

Now, there is something called "transitional object", which children use to feel more 'secure' when starting to set some distance between themselves and their object of affection. This can work similarly in adult relationships... A plush toy, a ring or a necklace, a picture... There are many things people can use to feel close to their loved one regardless of where they actually are. These help in the beginning, hopefully, as the relationship grows stronger, people need these objects no longer and can deal with the absence of their partner on their own, knowing full well that they will return.