Bottom line is... Most bears are closeted-bottoms!

As you go on bear411 looking for a date (or a hookup if you are more honest), most people either say they are tops or versatile... However, in my and my friends' experience, when it is time for the act to be consumated, a LOT of them just lay there and wait for you to do something.

Now, I don't really mind (for many reasons) but I do find it very interesting that most Mexican men (not only bears) have problems admitting they like to take it!

On the other hand, when I went to the USA, it was very funny how most of them not only admit it freely, but actually boast about being good at it!

Part of my research on the Mexican gay community was, of course, centered on the macho stereotype and the innate belief that we cannot, even being gay, have a feminine, receptive, passive side. I understand this myself, and hear it all the time in the jokes people make ("pasiva" -the female word for bottom in Spanish- is used as an insult amongst not-so-effeminate men, amongs others like "osa", "mujer", etc.)

I will not deny that I, too, have issues with that topic (in the end -pun intended-, I too am Mexican); however, I don't really have many problems since most people are bottoms anyway.

What I don't get, though, is the whole 'corpse-like' attitude in bed - when they just lay there and expect you to do all the work. Seriously, that is not even being a bottom, it's just becoming a sex toy substitute (but with more afterwards drama). That is even worse when you are with a big bear - it is a real task to move him!

I remember a friend once told me "it takes waaaaay more balls to be a bottom, not only because it is mocked, but mostly because it takes a real man to take it like a man".

So, which one do you think takes more courage? And does it make you less of a man to be on the receiving end?