Kiss those calories away!

Yeah, maybe you can't. You know what they say, you want a man to gain weight, get him married. Or is it because some people just stop kissing after getting married? Hmmm... Anyway, I came across an article that seems to think otherwise...

Supposedly, kissing burns about 2 calories per minute... Yup, I know what you're thinking, best workout plan ever? They also say that it helps tone your facial muscles and boost the immune system... For the full article go to this website:

http://health.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1194640,curpg-1.cms

Still, whether all that is true or not, it still got me thinking about the deed itself. When you think about it... It's kind of weird... Saliva, tongues, lips... And yet... Romantic...

Once I heard a philosopher say that nowadays people think of their bodies as 'a way to transport their heads'; we are so disconnected from our bodies, that I believe we think of ourselves as that alien from Men In Black that was actually a tiny creature controlling a mechanical body using the head as his control room. 

I mean, think about it, how often do you think as your limbs as yourself and not just 'a part of yourself'? The perception of our 'self' is normally limited to our minds/heads, I think this is what can make kissing such a passionate thing. Joining the part of yourself you are most aware of, letting someone past your normal barriers and get as close to you as possible.

Does it relieve stress? Hell yeah! Never mind the release of dopamine, serotonin and whatever other chemicals that act in your brain, it makes you forget the world around you exists and helps melt your worries away! (...When done right).

So, does it burn calories? I don't really know... But perhaps it's worth trying? Hehehe... I know I have put on a bit of weight since my fiancé has been away... Hmmm... Perhaps that's why? 

The end

They met at the café that had been their usual the last couple of weeks... Granted, it was a very different situation. Same city, same chaos, same everything... 

Lobo had called a friend before leaving, knowing that telling someone what he was gonna do would help his resolve. "Expect a call from me in about an hour," he'd said, "I have to do this now, I'm going to that place  down the street to meet him and I'll probably need someone to comfort me afterwards."

When Lobo arrived, he saw him sitting at the café, with his laptop open in front of him and a cup of coffee on the table. Mocha, Lobo knew. Some things don't change. His heart jumped, very much against his brain's much wiser counsel. Stop. Just stop. It's getting old.

He approached the table and greeted him. No kiss, we're not there anymore. Not like we were anywhere really. But still, fondly. His smile still entranced him and made him wonder what it was in his brain... What substances God had put in his gray matter and whatever transmitters that overrode all rational thought. 

As they sat down, he told Lobo to excuse him for a few minutes, for he was in the middle of some work related stuff. "Sure, go ahead," he said. He let his gaze follow his companion's blue eyes sweeping across the screen; watched his fingers type away who-knew-what and tried with all his might to suppress the memories and the urge to keep walking - or rather running - down a road leading nowhere. He had told Lobo it had to end, they were playing with fire. And yet, here I am. Still close enough to the flame to feel the heat scalding my skin.

When he was done, they chatted for a while. As naturally as usual. The chemistry, the lingering passion still floating in the air. Nothing but an illusion. Stay focused. Fruitless thoughts of that sort kept racing through Lobo's mind; doing their best to drown the longing, the desperate need to let his feelings show, embrace the man across the table and make him understand- Understand what? Remember what you're here for.

"What are you doing now? I mean, after this" he said.

Probably going home to cry my eyes out or call one of my friends, and what's it to you anyway? 

"I'm going to go get my hair cut down by the mall." Lobo said, hesitatingly.

"Oh, good, I'm headed that way too", he replied with a smile, "I'll walk you there".

Lobo's heart sank for an instant. I miss you so much, I wish you understood that I want to be with you, regardless of what happens later. But only for an instant. No, this is good. I'll just say what I need to say before we say goodbye. It'll be easier. Faster. Cleaner. 

"But, do you mind if we stop by my place? I need to drop something off", his companion said as he was closing the laptop and finishing the mocha. 

"Sure, no problem" Lobo lied. Whatever makes you think I want to go back there? Still, there's no people there, so it'll be more private.

The place wasn't far, no more than a couple of blocks. Lobo had all but memorized the number of steps it took to get there. Every step, he felt heavier. His heart would send signals constantly. Here's where we met to go to that place, and there's where we almost decided to date again.

With every second, Lobo's decision faded a bit more. I wanted this so much. It felt so right. How can it be that it's over? He turned to see those blue eyes that now haunted his dreams. How can you be so indifferent about it?

As he stepped into the apartment he gathered his courage and decided to do it. This is good bye. 

"I need to tell you something" Lobo said. It took all his strength to keep his eyes from watering, his voice from quivering, his heart from going into kamikaze mode and abort the mission. 

His companion stared at him. Those eyes. Those damned eyes. Lobo's gaze turned downward and fixed on a spot on the floor. No, it has to be done. 

He looked up.

Their gaze locked. 

And then, Lobo felt his kiss.

Engagement

I've always been a hopeless romantic... And, yes, ever since I can remember I have dreamt about getting engaged and married. I remember fantasizing about a huge wedding with lots of guests, a spectacular event which would include me singing (of course), all my family, friends and basically everybody I have ever met; it'd take place in an incredible party hall or in a beautiful garden... etc. etc. The funny thing though, is that I never actually thought about who I'd be getting married to... Or what it meant... Or why'd I'd do it. In fact, I think this was the least of my worries. 

I spent many years wondering whether I'd propose to someone or if I'd wait for someone to propose to me... If a gay couple is supposed to follow the straight protocol of making it a surprise or if both talked about it and exchanged rings instead. This brought me to the conflict of "should I plan a big romantic event to propose? I'd love to do it! Yes, I will! But wait, I want to be proposed to as well! Grrr!!".

...And, again, I never thought of the person I'd be proposing to or why.

The answer, however, came to me last Saturday. And it was much simpler than I ever imagined. I had it backwards all along. And for a good reason too, I think.

So, my partner and I were at my cousin's wedding last Saturday. It was amazing and extra special since my family was so welcoming towards him. They interacted with us and were very happy for us being together. We drank, danced and did everything one normally does at a wedding (that goes well)...

When the evening came, my partner asked me to walk with him a little to get some air - my usual paranoid reaction being "why? is there something wrong?". Anyway, he led me away from the dance floor and all the people, to this little love seat set next to a pond. The day had finally cooled down and there was a general feeling of merriment in the air - perfect setting. We sat down and started talking about nothing in particular. And then, he did it. He took my ring from my finger (my 'commitment' ring to him), got on one knee and asked me if I would marry him. 

I looked at him and realized something unusual. There were no people around to applaud and gasp. There was no romantic violin music in the background. There was no surprise ring hidden in the cake or on the bottom of a glass of champagne. And it was then that I knew I had been waiting for the wrong thing. Being focused on all those details I had always ignored the fact that I'd been expecting things that happen on TV, or proposals that made other people happy, trying to make them my own. 

In my case, there was the man I love. That one person at whose side I have been meant to be. The one with whom I've been through so much this year, in an unlikely relationship, enduring distances that were literally across continents; my 'bullet-proof love' as my mother called it. The one I am willing to wait for and I have no problem making my one and only. He was on one knee, asking me to be his husband and take on the world together.

That's when I understood what an engagement was about. 

Of course, I said yes. (Yay! I'm getting married! ... ^_^ ... Ok, I'm back now). And then I said "of course I'll marry you... ... Ummm... There are no witnesses to the proposal!" - alcohol makes me overly direct perhaps. So, what did he do? A couple of hours later (maybe less), as I was talking with my cousins, he sneaked behind me, slipped the ring of my finger and proposed again in front of my family. If it hadn't already been perfect, that made it so.

Later I was thinking about the kind of wedding I'd like. And, for the first time in my life I thought "I don't need a big over-the-top, super expensive wedding. I need the man I love at my side. I want us to vow to be together, make it official, share it with the people I love (not with everyone I've met just for the sake of having lots of people at my wedding)."

Perhaps that's what love is really about, huh? When you realize that the things around you, the plans you make around the relationship are just pluses, decoration - and the real focus of your happiness is having that person in your life.