A whole new meaning to "Hanky" Panky - The Hanky code in the leather community

A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of this topic in one of our parties. See, in Mexico, most 'traditions' related to the bear or leather community are literally non-existent, so I was quite surprised to see that one of our bear friends had a red handkerchief in his right side... Now, in the leather community this would mean he is a fisting bottom... Of course, when we told him, he had absolutely no idea of what it meant and was quite shocked by it - he obviously removed it immediately.

Anyway, the interesting point is how in this country a lot of people may talk about how they are part of this or that group without really even knowing what it is about. I remember when I went to D.C. to visit my current boyfriend, he took me to this leather-store where I saw these little cards with a bunch of colours and what they represented. It went something like this:

Left back pocket - Top

Right back pocket - Bottom

Black - S&M

Red - Fisting

Dark Blue - Anal sex

Light Blue - Oral sex

Yellow - Watersports

Brown - Scat

Green - Hustler*

Orange - Anything, anytime.

Purple - Piercing*

Gray - Bondage

(*I'm not really sure about these ones, I lost my card and I got these from Wikipedia... The others I think are correct, though).

My bear then explained how there were all these codes that people actually used in the community... Then I remembered this very famous bar in Mexico City called "Tom's Leather Bar". Now, this place is probably as hardcore as it gets... And nothing really happens. It's basically a bar (where nobody is wearing leather or anything like it) with a back room where people go to mess around. There is nothing there that even remotely resembles a 'community'.

Now, while I don't actually think I could get into this world, I think it's pretty cool to have this form of communication, it somehow makes it feel more like an actual group in which you can really feel like you belong.

Note: I found a more detailed list here, if you are interested http://www.cuffs.stuorg.iastate.edu/?p=199

Happy VD!! Hope you have a great one!! ...BTW I meant Valentine's day!

Those initials can stand for so many things... Like, there is a gay club in Mexico called "VD+"... Happily most people remain oblivious to its most common meaning... I can't help but laugh whenever people say "It's only a hundred pesos to get into VD+"... 

So, a friend of mine posted on Facebook something like "this weekend it's not about finding Mr. Right, but about finding someone to spend Valentine's with!" I don't think he could have said it any better.

How many people go out desperate to find someone to share this 'so-called' special day with? Don't get me wrong, I am a total prey to marketing events and things like this just make me go crazy and buy romantic crap. But, what are the side-effects and dangers of this quest?

I know a lot of clubs organise VD related events... And how often do people just hook-up because they feel even more lonely on this day? Hell, how often do they settle for people they wouldn't even look at on a different date?

This got me thinking about how honest people are about their own VD... Yes, this time I mean the nasty VD!

I have been lucky enough to meet people who are very up front about having anything... But through my education and vicarious knowledge I have learned that you can get lots of stuff without even knowing it... Or do you always check the other person's body for any sign of infection? There are things that aren't obvious, you know? And in the heat of the moment, really, most people are already sucking cock before even taking their pants off... Let alone inspecting it beforehand (pun intended).

So, this weekend go, eat, drink, play... But remember that, most likely, this is just for this weekend so don't put all your eggs in one basket because it might be easier to find Mr. Right on a day when not everybody is looking for a remedy for loneliness... 

Oh, and one more thing... A red hanky does NOT mean "romantic and nice"... It means FF... Fist-F*ck! But you knew that, right? No? Ok, my next entry will be about the renowned Hanky Code in the leather community! 

Wake up and smell the poppers! - Poppers and HIV

That was one of the topics which casually came up during one of the classes I taught today; we were talking about banned substances and one of my students, who I think is gay, mentioned this specific issue - the rest, being straight, had no idea what it was about, so I explained a bit.

Everybody has, at least, heard of this substance, considered to be a 'sexual enhancer'... But how much do we actually know about it?

After today's brief explanation to my students (don't worry, they are all adults) I decided to do a bit of research and I found VERY interesting and, I think, not widely spread information.

But first, the basics. If you either live in a nunnery or haven't had sex with more than one person (who might've lived in a monastery) then you may not know what I'm talking about. Poppers are Amyl Nitrate, a substance which expands or dilates blood vessels and is used by some people during sex because of this quality, it helps dilate the anus (which makes anal sex easier), it makes the orgasms more intense and, in general, it makes you feel a bit wilder and hornier.

However, I came across a study relating HIV to popper use... Evidently, it was found that men who use poppers during sex are more prone to get infected or contract an STD even while wearing a condom - I'll explain a bit further.

Poppers dilate the blood vessels and, therefore, the concentration of blood in the anus increases, making it easier for the HIV virus (though I think this is redundant since the 'V' stands for Virus) to get through these vessels - there is also a higher chance of bleeding. But this is not all, the most surprising thing is that this substance also inhibits your immune system, facilitating the infection of any other STD as well. Scary, huh?

So, it's not only that these things make you hornier and wilder, they also make you less resistant to infections and health issues... I'm not condemning its use, I'm just saying that this information should be more widespread/published...

Personally, I can't use poppers and haven't because I tend to respond badly to drugs - I have only used alcohol and caffeine but I absorb them very quickly so the effect tends to be heightened - and I wouldn't want to risk a heart attack or something like that. But also, I think it stinks like HELL!!

If you want to know more about this study, let me know and I will send you the article (I included the reference at the bottom of this entry).

Reference
Walsh N. POP GO THE POPPERS. Gay Community News [serial online]. August 2008;(224):40. Available from: LGBT Life with Full Text, Ipswich, MA. Accessed February 2, 2011.