Pride 2011 (Night) - or bears don't dance.

And I'm back! Again, thanks to all of you who have been checking my blog out despite the lack of updates!

So, the night of pride (yeah, like a month ago or something like that) we went to this 'bear event' organised by bearmex - which is practically the only option for people who want to be in a bear-like environment.

It was in a very popular club called 'Living' which normally has a very different scene - snobbish. The place itself was actually pretty good; rather big and with really cool music. 

As the night went by, more and more bears showed up until it got quite packed (as you can see in the pic)!! I like these parties because I get to see people from out of town, including guys from other countries. The environment is also nicer because, normally, the bears who go to the bars are like striking a pose, but in these events, they seem to relax and let themselves be.

The Mr.Bearmex contest was really interesting, with some singing, some dancing, some stripping, some odd poetry-like shows and Adam Champ (woof!)...

But just before all that madness started, I was looking at the dance floor from the 2nd floor and I saw a bear getting on a platform-like thing and start dancing. Everybody went crazy for a bit, cheering him on; however, that's when I realised that, before, no one had been dancing or even moving to the music - everyone had been just standing there chatting with people (if they were in a group) or just looking around. 

Now, a couple of months ago I, reluctantly, went to a straight bar to celebrate one of my students' birthday and noticed something similar. I remember how nobody at the place was dancing except for us (the gays); they were all just standing there, looking pretty... Or something like that. That day, I complained about the place because I said I was used to going out to have fun and not just sit around doing nothing.

I guess it doesn't just happen there. Still, I do wonder why it was like that. I mean, I have seen bears at regular bars or clubs and they dance quite a bit! But, for some reason, when they are at the bear-oriented events, everyone is like trying to be cool and not move much... 

Still, it was a fun night. 

How do bears celebrate Pride where you live??

The day I really stopped playing 'straight' - Part 1

A couple of years ago, I went to the wedding of a friend's friend... At this event, we (the 'gays') were asked to be 'discrete', which wasn't difficult since we were not with our respective partners and we simply had to sit, watch, eat and wait it out. However, there was this other gay couple, a friend of the bride's, who had a few too many drinks... Now, I don't mean to sound classist but it is relevant to say it was in a sort of poor neighborhood with very conservative people. Anyway, at one point this couple of boys started arguing about something we couldn't quite make out, until one of them tried to storm out of the wedding; it was then that it happened. As he was stomping his way through the dance floor, his boyfriend caught up with him and they exchanged a few words... Then they started dancing together. I was quite surprised by this development and, sadly, not a half hour after this, everybody left, offended and indignant... I must say it was rather tragic to see the bride crying and the two boys apologizing for what had happened.

This memory came back to me last Friday since I was invited to my uncle's wedding... I found myself not wanting to go and I couldn't figure out why. This uncle knows I am gay and has met (and actually hired) my ex-boyfriend; he has told me he doesn't completely understand but that he loves me and accepts who I am. Nevertheless, this was a Catholic wedding in a church and my whole family (most of whom I hardly ever talk to and I am only out officially to three people out of, like, 30) was invited. As uneasy as I felt, I decided that I was being silly and went. The invitation was, originally, for my ex and I but, since we broke up, I ended up taking a friend (guy) of mine as my 'date'.

When we arrived at the place (a very fancy hall downtown) it hit me: I was the only (out) gay man among 300 people... Or rather 150 straight couples. I felt so out of place and... Odd... I am a very affectionate person and in this setting I felt limited.

The evening went okay until the dancing began; I have the disadvantage that most of my boyfriends have been taller than me and, therefore, I have only been led while dancing; I don't know how to dance with a girl! The guy I went with is an amazing dancer and I hated having both of us staring at the people having a good time. My cousin saw me and asked me why we didn't get up and dance; after giving her a disapproving glance I said "yeah, and freak out the family and have them shun me out completely?". She scoffed at me and pranced off to the dance floor with her boyfriend...

As I watched them go, a video I had seen earlier just flashed before my eyes... I realized that, while I might have been the only gay man out at the wedding, it didn't necessarily mean there weren't any others feeling the same way... Also, I thought about how different my life would have been 10 years ago if I had seen two men dancing at a public event... It would have filled me with hope and pride - whether I would have joined them or not...

Here is the video I was talking about... I will write the second part of my experience on my next entry... But tell me, what are your thoughts on this topic? Have you ever felt like this? If so, did you do or did you want to do something about it?