The end

They met at the café that had been their usual the last couple of weeks... Granted, it was a very different situation. Same city, same chaos, same everything... 

Lobo had called a friend before leaving, knowing that telling someone what he was gonna do would help his resolve. "Expect a call from me in about an hour," he'd said, "I have to do this now, I'm going to that place  down the street to meet him and I'll probably need someone to comfort me afterwards."

When Lobo arrived, he saw him sitting at the café, with his laptop open in front of him and a cup of coffee on the table. Mocha, Lobo knew. Some things don't change. His heart jumped, very much against his brain's much wiser counsel. Stop. Just stop. It's getting old.

He approached the table and greeted him. No kiss, we're not there anymore. Not like we were anywhere really. But still, fondly. His smile still entranced him and made him wonder what it was in his brain... What substances God had put in his gray matter and whatever transmitters that overrode all rational thought. 

As they sat down, he told Lobo to excuse him for a few minutes, for he was in the middle of some work related stuff. "Sure, go ahead," he said. He let his gaze follow his companion's blue eyes sweeping across the screen; watched his fingers type away who-knew-what and tried with all his might to suppress the memories and the urge to keep walking - or rather running - down a road leading nowhere. He had told Lobo it had to end, they were playing with fire. And yet, here I am. Still close enough to the flame to feel the heat scalding my skin.

When he was done, they chatted for a while. As naturally as usual. The chemistry, the lingering passion still floating in the air. Nothing but an illusion. Stay focused. Fruitless thoughts of that sort kept racing through Lobo's mind; doing their best to drown the longing, the desperate need to let his feelings show, embrace the man across the table and make him understand- Understand what? Remember what you're here for.

"What are you doing now? I mean, after this" he said.

Probably going home to cry my eyes out or call one of my friends, and what's it to you anyway? 

"I'm going to go get my hair cut down by the mall." Lobo said, hesitatingly.

"Oh, good, I'm headed that way too", he replied with a smile, "I'll walk you there".

Lobo's heart sank for an instant. I miss you so much, I wish you understood that I want to be with you, regardless of what happens later. But only for an instant. No, this is good. I'll just say what I need to say before we say goodbye. It'll be easier. Faster. Cleaner. 

"But, do you mind if we stop by my place? I need to drop something off", his companion said as he was closing the laptop and finishing the mocha. 

"Sure, no problem" Lobo lied. Whatever makes you think I want to go back there? Still, there's no people there, so it'll be more private.

The place wasn't far, no more than a couple of blocks. Lobo had all but memorized the number of steps it took to get there. Every step, he felt heavier. His heart would send signals constantly. Here's where we met to go to that place, and there's where we almost decided to date again.

With every second, Lobo's decision faded a bit more. I wanted this so much. It felt so right. How can it be that it's over? He turned to see those blue eyes that now haunted his dreams. How can you be so indifferent about it?

As he stepped into the apartment he gathered his courage and decided to do it. This is good bye. 

"I need to tell you something" Lobo said. It took all his strength to keep his eyes from watering, his voice from quivering, his heart from going into kamikaze mode and abort the mission. 

His companion stared at him. Those eyes. Those damned eyes. Lobo's gaze turned downward and fixed on a spot on the floor. No, it has to be done. 

He looked up.

Their gaze locked. 

And then, Lobo felt his kiss.